I am falling in love again and again, it is like I am addicted to love hormons

You know I just came back from visiting a friend in the hospital. I was very lucky that the rain stopped 5 minutes before I wanted to go there. I did not get wet, yeah! I went to the hospital by bike, I know the way very well by now, since I have been in this hospital myself. Anyway, I just arrived there when I saw this guy who I really like. I am … let’s say “aquainted” with him. So I see him standing in front of the building chatting with a friend of his. A fellow student, from what I overheard. I was not sure how to behave. I needed to go past them to park my bike and I said “hello!” rather loudly and happier than I really was. So I parked my bike, locked it and wanted to go to the door. I had to pass him again and I was already walking by (I would have stopped earlier, had he made some sign that he wanted to speak to me) when he suddenly turned in my direction, smiling this great broad smile of his and moving up to me.

I had wanted to meet him again for ages and when he was finally standing in front of me I was at a loss at what to do. Usually I would embrace him. But I was not so sure if that was okay since we had not seen each other for so long. He offered me his hand and naturally I took it and then we embraced each other rather awkwardly.

He: Oh hey, what are you doing here?

Me: I am visiting Ewa.

He: I see. Of course. Well then…

And that was it… Oww! He went back to his friend, I went inside and we did not run into each other for the remainder of my visit. I asked my friend to greet him though. I hope it does not seem strange to him since we met before. Anyway… I do never have luck with guys. Mostly they turn out to be complete idiots. Okay, mostly I fall in love before I really know these guys. This time it was different. 4 or 5 weeks passed before I noticed my feelings.

I am falling in love again and again, it is like I am addicted to love hormons. I have had a crush for so many times I can hardly recount them all and not because I am falling for everyone. No, I am indeed picky. I do not really care about looks but I like tall guys and since I am 1,72 m and love high heels it is only in his interest. I have fallen for guys of my height, too, and for guys with brown and blond hair, with blue, brown, green and grey eyes. I am picky concerning behaviour. I love funny, mature guys, intelligent and charming and gentle, definitely gentle. And the should not drink much alcohol. I am an antialcoholic, so I naturally would not like them to drink. A beer, okay, cigarettes, okay.

This guy today was not the type I usually go for. You see he is bald. I never liked a bald guy before. Well, I hardly ever met some bald of his age. Anyway, he chose to be bald, he is shaving his head. He is 23 or 24. I am not sure but only some years older than me. He has very bright blue eyes and when he smiles his whole face is smiling. There are people who smile only with their mouths. He is smiling with his eyes and cheeks, too! And he is mature and so very sensible! That is something I like the most about him. He is not one of those guys in my age who get drunk very evening, who study because it is cooler than working and who never had a relationship which lasted longer than two months. I really think I have a crush on this guy. Oh dear!

When we spent time together I did not feel like I had to impress him. I could be myself and that was okay. I could walk around in a jeans and T-shirt (which is usually not my style, I prefer skirts and frocks), wear my hair in a messy pony-tail and it was okay. He never made me feel like it was not. I remember one lunch especially. We had some kind of salad for dessert. I had not tried it. We were sitting next to each other and although I had finished my lunch I stayed seated for a chat. Another friend of ours, dear Joe, was also sitting with us. So he ate this salad and made some kind of grimace. Like I said, his face is very expressive. And then he asked me to taste the salad because he could not decide why it tasted strange. I took up my fork and tasted it and well, to me it tasted pretty normal. But I felt touched that he had asked me this. You know, to share one’s food, to eat out of the same bowl, isn’t it a sign of intimacy? I want to meet him again soon!

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